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Q&A
Sex dolls in a sexless marriage
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My wife a I have been married for 3 years and our sex life together seemed to plummet on our wedding day. Before we got married, we had sex almost every other day, but now it’s like every two months. I am horny all the time! I was losing my mind and started daydreaming about having sex with other women. I’ve tried everything from talking about it, counseling, asking for her libido to be checked, keeping the house clean and running errands for her, sending flowers and loving texts while she works, and more. Without any job, I definitely wouldn’t cheat, and I don’t want to, but have considered, divorce. I tried to talk about getting a sex doll but was immediately shut down. Could it be wrong to get a sex doll and hide it? I desperately need some advice on what to do? I don’t want a divorce, I love my wife, but I’m sinking into depression and grudges; it makes me feel either divorced or miserable.
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Dude, sometimes love is not enough. It sounds like you two are sexually incompatible, and if sex is important to you, that is a deal breaker.
It’s unfortunate but completely understandable if you want to divorce. I really don’t think you’ll be happy with a sex doll when you know you should be able to have sex with a living, breathing woman. Just can’t see how a sex doll would be satisfying to you.
Out of curiosity, what reason has your wife given for being very sexual prior to marriage, and not at all after?
I think thrusting on top of a plastic person would only exacerbate your sadness. Get a divorce and have sex with real people.
Divorce! Why prolong your misery?
Sounds like whatever happened with you two happened and your wife doesnt want to (or just cant) talk about it.
It has been 3 years, why wait longer?
Initiate divorce proceedings and move on. Best to you.
What are her responses when you talk about her lack of intimacy with you? Does she seem uninterested? Is she active in other parts of your marriage?
I think getting a sex doll and hiding it would be disrespectful and would definitely cause problems because she’s set the boundary that she doesn’t approve of you doing that.
Either divorce, or talk and work through your sex life. Have you thought about couples therapy specifically for your sex life?
Where the fuck you gonna hide the doll bro?
The sex doll bit made me chuckle, why would you want to shag a bit of plastic though.
Time to put it on the line, sit her down, say you need a explanation or tomorrow you go to see a lawyer and will be filing for a divorce
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Divorce her and have a real women not sex doll !!
It sounds like she doesn’t think you’re going anywhere so she doesn’t want to work on the problem. The doll isn’t a solution to the core issue, it’s a temporary fix that will probably blow up in your face eventually. Look into a divorce just to see what it might look like, so you know your options. Talk with your wife about what you both want and see if you can come to some sort of agreeable compromise that will work for both of you. If you can’t find one, you might want to consider the divorce.
Stop doing the pick me dance, you’ve learned that it doesn’t work, and as she sees it, is just rewarding her behavior.
What if she’s having an affair?
Correct me if I’m wrong, but it sounds like she is not interested in working with you to fix the issue. From there, that’s a communication and effort issue as well as sexual incompatibility. How have your conversations gone with her about this?
Cost might concern me if I were her. Otherwise she doesn’t get to dictate how you masturbate.
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As a female I feel sex can mean very different things to many different people, it sounds like you have a high sex drive and your wife just happy with sex here and there…. some women do get more sexually active past menopause and men are surpsoe to decline with age (no disrespect)
Have you spoken to a doctor about your high sex drive or being horny alot?
You could be suffering from genital sexual arousal, it’s can be more common than you think and recently they agave discovered slight differences in the brains of surfing females compared to non suffers which has allowed doctors to make better forms of treatment
Speak to your doctor, I know it may seem embarrassing but if you done counselling then you have nothing hide, they could refer you to see a specialist or take some tests, you could have a enlarged gland making you feel like this all the time… I AM NOT A DOCTOR, I had a female friend that has this and she said it feels she’s aroused all the time, she described it as having an erection all day,it was quite debilitating for her but thankfully she’s alot better now.
There could be nothing to worry about, I don’t mean to scare you but if you have already tried tackling this mentally then check the physical route.there could e nothing to worry about but if there is chances are you have caught it early
Also speak to your wife about intimacy and how you both feel about it, some women want to be seen more than just a sex object but it seems you really do make an effort for her… what women can resist being sent flowers at work? Thst would have made her co workers dead jealous
Maybe do some couples counselling as it’s a bit odd thst your wife seems to be acting cold towards you and you seem to be doing alot of things on your part
There is such a thing as a sex therpist, maybe they could make you rekindle your love towards each other?
Buy a sex doll and love her in front of your wife 😂😂😂
This makes me wanna cry. Im in the same boat. However, after 10 years, with one kid, and another on the way (that I’m thankful for and love very much) I feel like i will be stuck with misery -the wife- for the rest of my life.
Dont let it get to my point. Go be happy
Its your life and time. Be honest with self and take action…..or continue to suffer the same cycle
We don’t orgasm in this household 😤.
Is she against any sex toy? Flesghlight or something? A blow up doll may be a bit much lol. Maybe something more low key would be better.
Also, you cool with no fucking forever?
You want to feel wanted. Do you think an inanimate object you can put your dick in is going to make you feel wanted?
What does she say about her libido? Does she want to fix the issue?
Getting a sex doll behind her back would be the same as cheating. At that point just find a woman who wants to have sex with you and hide that.
More likely though the answer is separation, though I suppose you might as well as for an open relationship first
Have you asked her to go to counseling or see a therapist?
If she won’t talk to you, maybe she will talk to someone else.
Could she have a side dude/cheating on you if she says her libido is fine and she not fucking you much. She got to be doing something then. Either her toys or boy toy. I’m sorry to say, unless she gets it tested.
Honestly after reading all of this it’s seems like she’s the one cheating on you
It may also time to tell her either she gets checked and/or have sex more or you’ll find someone he will. We all have needs and she’s not filling yours and she’s withholding sex and not getting help for it. You gotta do what you gotta do. Plus I would check with her girlfriends and besties to see if they can give you ensite in her problems. Good luck
End it. It’s not worth it man. Love is enough in friendships but not relationships.
I can see from previous comments that you have tried to communicate this to her.
As others have said, lack of sex can be a deal breaker for many people, it certainly would be for me. The fact that she is unable to communicate her reasons to you is concerning to me.
Ultimately, I think you need to be more direct when talking to her about this issue. You need to communicate how it makes you feel explicitly. You also need to tell her that you are considering divorcing her, because you have tried every other avenue to save your marriage. You should of course, re-assure her that you care deeply for her and that you do not want to leave her.
But she needs to understand the severity of the issue, so that she understands that it needs to be tackled. I have been in your position before to a lesser degree. I find that sometimes people with lower libido’s tend to misinterpret the importance of sex in their relationship, or how it can affect their partner to the point of separation.
If she understands all of the above, but you still see no change in the foreseeable future, a divorce is understandable. Ultimately, the decision is up to you, but don’t put yourself down because you are thinking of leaving her.
i think there’s definitely a problem in the sex part of this marriage and i don’t think a sex doll will fix it, and neither will divorce. You guys should talk seriously about it, cause this issue either comes from her or from you, and divorce wont fix that. I mean the one that creates this situation, you or her, has a problem that will still be there in future relationship and won’t be fixed by a divorce. What im saying is that a sex doll won’t fix your marriage and that a divorce won’t fix any problem she or you has, so you might as well try to fix it now with therapy so you guys stay together. If the sex part is the only one that doesn’t work between you guys it probably means this marriage is worth the effort and can be fixed.
I had a similar issue. Sex started to dwindle,(we also have 3 kids) I said something about it plenty of times, it would get better and then it would always be something that prevented us from having sex. She’s tired, she has a headache and alot of the time it was because she didn’t feel close to me, and for good reason, I didn’t spend time with her as much as I should. If we weren’t going to have sex and she was in the bed, I’d just go into the living room and watch TV or play video games. I talked to her again about it, she told me the reasons why(listed above) I said it’s very important to me but I didn’t realize that she is a very connection based person and that alot of the times she was really tired. So she started asking me to join her in the shower or would jump in the shower when I was in there and we have had some of the best possible shower sex you could have. She made an compromise for me. If your wife just just doest want to I’d make sure you weren’t neglecting her in other ways first before divorce. This may be your fault.
I would read the book No More Mr.Nice Guy. It’s worth the read to try and reignite the spark your wife lost.
Cheat on her ass. She’s probably having an affair. I would start paying close attention to her.
Dude if you’re seriously contemplating buying a SEX DOLL to satisfy yourself when you’re in a marriage already…It’s already over. Your wife either needs to compromise with you, or you should leave. You deserve better.
I remember one of our customers who’s wife was in a wheelchair, really bad health and unable to have sex – he also loved her and didn’t want to cheat, so he got his doll
miraculously, his wife made a full recovery, began having sex with him again and he got rid of the doll
true story!
Why hide a doll? Just explain it to your wife straight as it is.
Brother, obviously you have feelings, but you lack passion. You have to change yourself, let him admire you, appreciate you, and capture her heart again. Dolls can have them, they must be hidden, and don’t let her discover them. At the same time, make yourself a gentleman, humorous, self-motivated, and responsible. I also have a doll, I use it occasionally
She’s banging a co-worker.
There’s likely something else here that you’re missing. I mean one thing that would cause her behavior is after someone cheats. I am not saying that is the case but avoidance does come from shame and guilt from cheating.
I think that if you care about her you probably want to know what’s going on with her. I would ask her “what about me annoys you?” And be very prepared and nonjudgmental to her answer. If she opens up she might tell you stuff you never thought about yourself. I kid you not, providing a means for her to open up will likely make her feel safe with you and return those feelings of trust. Anyway I think it might be worth trying, before resorting to a divorce.
As for the sex doll, they are big, I’d really consider how you will hide it and clean it. And you may be able to hide it for awhile but at some point she will find and you can probably guess her reaction. I don’t think it’s wrong but if your wife is insecure of her appearance she might feel that you are attracted to a doll that’s more attractive than she is. It could end up hurting her unless you can convince her that it is because you two are not having sex but even then you can’t take away that hurt with an explanation.
I think you should talk to her and try to get her to open up. If she’s a reserved person and if she’s kind she will probably have a lot to say about stuff that may hurt some feeling if she mentions them. Think about you and the things that you believe are true that wouldn’t say to your wife because it might hurt her feelings and how those things drag on and on. Maybe she feels the same way. Ask her what it is and sit there and be prepared for something harsh. If you can sit through the whole thing you have done something that will help you and your relationship out. Hope this helps cheers
okay fucking weirdo, yes, that’s wrong. get file for divorce and then you can partake in your weirdo urges