Q&A
Boyfriend (27M) Says Anime Sex Dolls Shouldn’t Be My Competition (24F)
My boyfriend is a Redditor. He doesn’t use r/relationship_advice I’m pretty sure, but I really hope he sees this article somehow. I’m halfway there for validation because I feel like I’m going crazy and can’t tell anyone I know for obvious reasons, but if I’m not being reasonable, please let me know. My boyfriend has a sex doll. Unlike Lars and real girls, who look like anime girls and can’t be real. That’s why he refuses to get rid of it. He said I shouldn’t be jealous because she’s satisfying an impossible emptiness…no real woman can have boobs and ass like hers, hair like hers, always be willing to take any action, etc. He couldn’t see her as a real person and he said it was like I had a dildo or something. I don’t have a dildo. I’m 24 and I think we’re both too mature and financially unstable to waste money on sexual things we can do with each other, but Anime Doll clearly disagrees. He put her in the closet in our bedroom, but my clothes were definitely there. I don’t want to break up, but the longer I live with him, the closer I get to burning it. How can I express the fact that I want him to get rid of it without making me seem jealous, reserved, or unreasonable? Am I any of these three things? EDIT: To answer some questions: Yes, he did tell me he prefers sex with dolls, but he said it was natural and he didn’t expect a real woman toxpare. Yes, I’m fine with pocket cats. By the way, I also have no intention of shaming any dildo owners. I just personally think it’s a waste of money for me. I say “mature” because we’re not exactly wealthy and this thing costs a lot of money and clothes, accessories, etc. just add up. He’s turned me down for a doll before, but not so often, I’ll put it on the post office. The general rule, though, is that I can’t try toxe in when he’s there.
I’m sure if you told him you are leaving him due to the sex doll he wouldn’t mind one bit
You admit in your own comment that “[he says sex with it is better than sex with me](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/n7rmqi/boyfriend_27m_says_anime_sex_doll_should_not_be/gxea8k3/).”
What are the reasons you haven’t already broken up with him?
This is the guy you’re really gonna settle for at 24? You’re really willing to spend the next 50+ years with a guy who puts the ‘needs’ of a sex doll above your own? Read your own post OP, oh my god. Run.
This is the most redditor thing I’ve ever heard holy shit
Also yeah of course the story is fake, who the fuck wouldn’t realize that?
Tell him if it’s better with her, then she can be his girlfriend from now on, since you prefer boys that are into partners that breathe.
edit: whoa, my first award! This is where I say “thanks, kind stranger,” right?
He refuses to do things with you in favor of the doll???? Girlie, run. I’m impressed you’ve put up with that shit for so long.
There’s clearly only room for one woman in his life, and you aren’t it.
Have some self respect and leave. He loves his waifu more than you.
> He keeps her in our bedroom closet but I literally have my clothes in there.
Depending on how old this thing is and how clean it is, this would not thrill me.
Put it this way OP, it is for everyone to set their own dealbreakers. You don’t sound comfortable with this arrangement. If he’d rather keep a doll than maintain a relationship with an actual human, this might be doomed anyway.
Lol we could have guessed he was a redditor when you said he had an anime sex doll. I’m usually supportive towards the whole watching porn/masturbating while in a relationship, so long as it doesn’t impact the actual sex life but this is crossing the line. Telling your SO you enjoy sex with a doll more than them seems like a pretty big slap in the face and I’d be pretty pissed about it too. The fact he doesn’t see how that’s offensive is just…wow. I’d dump his ass but before you go, I’d take the advice of one of the other commenters and fill his precious doll up with some icy hot lol
He says it’s better with the doll than with you? Is that what is causing your feelings, that he seems to prefer it over you?
I don’t think you’re prudish or unreasonable. Jealousy sounds like it’s just because it’s not even a person, and he prefers it instead of you. I’d be really offended.
My husband says put icy hot in it.
“He has rejected me for the doll” and ”I can’t try to come in while he’s with it though” had me shook. R U N
There’s a lot about this relationship that I don’t know, but even if you yourself are an absolute trainwreck of a human being I’m pretty sure you can still do better (and deserve better) for a partner.
I had a relationship like this when I was 24. I get it, the whole world revolves around him and you’d do anything to make him happy. But…
My ex, instead of an anime doll, would tell me how much he preferred sex with other women and would constantly threaten to cheat on me and stay out all night. I was not allowed to ask him about where he’d been or what he’d done. If I did, it would be a verbal tirade of abuse sometimes almost getting physical when he would go to slap me.
I put up with it because, at 24, I thought that that’s what love was. Dealing with stuff you didn’t necessarily like just to keep the peace.
It’s not worth it to stay. He’s cheating on you with plastic. He’s limiting your freedom where you live (keeping it stored in the closet, forbidding you from entering when they’re on a “date,” etc.)
Leave and know that someone better is out there – even if it turns out to be you. You deserve more.
Please be fake. Please be fake. Please be fake. Please be fake. Please be fake.
Please be fake.
Please be fake.
Please be fake.
Please be fake.
Please be fake.
Please be fake.
Please be fake.
Please be fake.
He dresses it up? Eww…
No, you owning a dildo is comparable to him owning a pocket pussy. Him owning a sex doll is like you owning a sex doll.
It may be just me, but if my husband came home with a sex doll, divorce papers would be filed same or next day. I don’t want a penis that goes in that to go in me. That’s just where I draw the line. He literally said that he enjoys having sex with the doll more than with you.
You have the rest of your life to find a partner who isn’t creepy. My husband says to fill it jalapeño juice and cayenne pepper before you leave.
He prefers sex with the DOLL!? Nope. Nope nopenopenopenope! Run, don’t walk away from that one!
This is about your boundaries and comfort levels.
I’d be hurt if my partner told me that sex was more enjoyable with a doll too.
You’ll just need to figure out what you’re comfortable with and what ypu arent. It does sound like a tough situation and I hope you find a resolution soon!
Sounds like you’ve been tricked into thinking that this is normal. It ain’t. You’re not respecting yourself. I hope that you snap out of it and recognize that you’re better than this. Leave that loser ASAP. But before you go- pour some HOT hot sauce into the creepy dolls holes. What is he going to do? Tell everyone how you ruined his anime sex doll?
I’m gonna be straight up with you and say that is a fucking weird thing to be into. With that being said, I can’t even begin to fathom the sort of thoughts that roam through his noodle.
I say you should reevaluate whether you’re willing to deal with someone like that for the long run. Say this out loud with me “my boyfriend has sex with cartoon dolls”. Say it til you snap out of it.
Hahaha haha my advice would be to dump his weeb ass and let him hump on his anime pillow all he wants
Honey, I’m so sorry but he’s psychologically manipulating you.
For 1 thing, as someone who has, uses, and encourages others to have and use sex toys, I would never ever lock myself in my room by myself WHILE MY PARTNER IS HOME to use those sex toys. They either enhance my experience with my partner or they fill the time when my partner is away for extended periods. If he wants to choose the doll, let him choose the doll. You’re just waiting in the wings until he’s ready for you, your own feelings and needs be damned. You are secondary to him and you deserve to be with someone who values you and wants to spend time with you. Maybe the doll can do things you can’t or dont want to but humans offer some very special things sex toys never can, like love for one thing.
Secondly, I’m very concerned about what else he’s getting you to agree to and perhaps making you think you’re ok with when you’re really not.
The main point is though: you don’t have to like his kink or sexual interests or anything, healthy or otherwise (I would say this falls in the latter category but that’s not the point) and he doesn’t have to give up his sex toys if he doesn’t want to. Just sounds like this is a major compatibility issue since it really upsets you and that doesn’t seem to matter to him.
I’d say, well I’ll go find someone who prefers sex with real women and just leave
Or if you want to be petty (totally valid cause he’s a jackass), buy a mini vibrator (like £5) and say it’s better than him lmao
Your BF is cheating on you with an inanimate object.
Please, for your own sanity and self worth, dump him.
Pocket pussies, dildos, vibrators are all good. But if he is ditching you for a doll, and compares you to it…then she is his GF, not you.
Omg run. Please run.
No, leave. He doesn’t need a real woman and I’m not even sure why he has a girlfriend to be honest. There are men out there that will want you. A real, live person. He sounds like he doesn’t really want a girlfriend at all, but he needs you to split the bills because single incomes can’t run a household anymore. Find a place to go and let him move back in with parents until he’s done playing barbie. Then find yourself a man that won’t leave you sexually unsatisfied for years to come. You are TOO YOUNG to be stuck with this. Run, fast, before you are married or get pregnant. Leave while you are unattached.
He spends money on clothes and accessories for this? He’s a grown man playing with a giant barbie that he can stick his penis in. No wonder he doesn’t want you to come in while he’s “playing” with his doll. Even he’s ashamed that he’s a grown man playing dress up with a doll. If you two are having money problems and his sex doll needs a new pair of high heels and a different wig and that is what he’s concerned with? He’s not suitable to be thinking about sharing a bank account with because he’s not mature enough to be living out on his own yet.
If he likes the sex doll so much and prefers her over you, why not leave him and find you a partner who loves and appreciates you the way you are? Don’t waste your 20’s on this manchild.
Yeah….
It’s one thing to have a sex toy, like a vibrator or a fleshlight.
This is an entirely artificial sexual partner. One that he says he prefers over you.
I think leaving at this point would only be giving him the opportunity to indulge his preferences, and is the least you can do for him.
And this right here is what’s wrong with our socialisation of women. You’re worried about upsetting this man who ACTIVELY says he prefers an inanimate object to you.
This is not what love feels like.
Leave and find a man who wants to devour you because he loves you so much.
I’m sorry he’s spending money on a sex doll he already paid for? Babe totally forget about the doll for a second and think: do I want to be in a relationship with someone who spends money so frivolously?
You’re 24 and you’re probably hot as fuck and you’re with a guy who uses an anime sex doll? Sheesh babe
This is the most I’ve ever wanted someone to dump their bf. Congratulations. Please do so.
Here’s a tip. Dump the boyfriend and get a vibrator. The orgasms will be a nice change of pace, and you won’t be competing with a damn sex tot
One question, sis – what significant contribution is this man bringing to your relationship that compels you to tolerate this? The fact that you would tolerate this makes me think this post isn’t real, because I just can’t even fathom this is a possibility.
Leave, sis.
Wtf I watch a lot of anime, but having a waifu that he stores nexts to your jeans is fucking weird okay. Plus he’s TELLING YOU? Leave him before he adds to his harem.
Side note is it Mikasa?
Women really do put up with a lot these days
Pretty much all of those things…you are young just leave him if you don’t like it.
how the hell is preferring sex with a doll natural? you might wanna think about your next move, cause this doesn’t sound like its gonna end well.
sorry what?? ‘He has rejected me for the doll before but not often enough for me to put it in the post’
Girl he’s got you fucked up, either he ditches the doll or you ditch him
I mean, you literally are feeling jealous, but I think that’s understandable in light of the fact that you have to see a life size anime sex doll on a regular basis. It’s the difference between having porn on a computer and having porn posters up on the walls.
Please break up with him. We don’t need more of him.
No, just no. He prefers sex with the doll? He buys it clothes etc? He prefers its tits and ass?
You’re the side piece to a doll.
Please, please, please run and find a man who loves you more than a doll.
Lady, you’re second fiddle to a doll. DTMFA and move on. This is messed.
To the BF: this is weird. You’re watching too much porn.
1- he TOLD you he prefers the doll. You’ll never come first.
2- he buys it clothes, accessories and bars you from your room so you don’t interrupt “their “ time. Life’s too short. For real. Move on.
Good Lord. Never in the history of Western civilization have women been so socially pressured to accept this level of utter depravity as even borderline normal. This is not normal, it is not okay, and you do not owe anyone an explanation for why you find this situation hurtful and insulting.
I don’t know what kind of horrifying abuse and trauma you come from, that left you feeling like this is the best you can hope for in a relationship. But please let this internet stranger assure you, it is not. You can do miles better than this. It may be hard, inconvenient, painful to leave. But staying together with this guy will cost you far more in the future. Even if you aren’t sure you deserve better, decide to act as if you do until you start to believe it. Good luck.
Full stop, he doesn’t respect you and you should break up. You don’t deserve to be treated secund class to a sex doll. You are a whole human being and you should be treated with care and respect. Your boyfriend sounds emotionally stunted and manipulative.
OP, when you think about what kind of relationship you want, is the one you have close? From what you’ve written, he doesn’t seem very respectful of you.
Mate you’re 24. Don’t fucking waste time in this relationship if this is a red line for you.
If he wants to keep the doll, that’s up to him but if him keeping it is not what you want, then just fucking leave.
EDIT: If you *do* set it on fire, please post pics.